We all have defenses. They’re the strategies we’ve unconsciously built over a lifetime to protect ourselves from shame, fear, disappointment, or vulnerability: We shut down, get angry, over-explain, micromanage, or make a joke at the wrong time.
The shortlist of my own defenses at work? Suppression (just keep delivering). Perfectionism (I never felt good enough). And the oldie but goodie: Compartmentalization (focus on the job, not the people).
The problem isn’t that defenses exist. They’re human.
The problem is when we don’t know our defenses. Because here’s what happens when our defenses run the show for us:
- We miss what’s really being said
- We push people away
- We damage trust
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Bottom line? Defenses make us show up in ways that aren’t serving our best interests well.
In my work, I see this all the time. Brilliant, capable leaders stuck in cycles they can’t quite figure out, because what’s really happening isn’t conscious.
Here’s the truth:
👉 Where do you notice your defenses kicking in at work or in life?
If you’re feeling stuck in these patterns, Let’s explore how we can support you !
#LeadershipForHumans #PsychodynamicPsychotherapy #PsychodynamicCoaching
