For most of my career, I thought I was a good leader – driving results, setting a clear direction, and role-modeling high standards. But at a critical moment, I realized something was off. My team was working hard, yet trust was low. Engagement frankly felt forced. The real issue? Me.
It hit me during a meeting where I showcased my team’s work. I had launched a competition to help them feel more connected to the company’s customers, an area traditionally distant from risk management. My intent was good – I’d thought this was a way to help the team better connect with the reason we are in business – but my timing was honestly terrible. They were exhausted, stretched thin by regulator-driven work.
As a leader, I had lost sight of their perspective. That realization stung. It was incredibly humbling. But it also forced me to ask some hard questions about myself:
- Who am I as a leader—beyond just getting things done?
- What do I stand for, no matter what?
- How do I lead in a way that feels fully mine—strong, steady, and true?
I realized that I’d been so focused on driving results and – ironically – creating meaning within the team that I had also created an environment of relentless pressure.
How did I turn this around? Luckily, my company continued to be supportive of me while I did the real work; not just on my leadership skills, but on me. I got clear on my values. Examined my thought patterns that weren’t serving my team. I shifted how I was leading, from control to connection and trust.
It took time. But when I stopped trying to be the kind of leader I thought I had to be and started showing up as the leader I truly was, my team felt it. They leaned in. We built something real – the kind of work environment that still resonates with them. And the performance, when I showed up as a more human-centered leader? It didn’t suffer – it thrived.
Today, as an executive coach specializing in psychodynamic coaching, a teacher, and a psychotherapist-in-training, I use my own turnaround to help others.
If you’re facing your own leadership wall, know this—you can turn it around. Because leadership isn’t just about what you do.
It’s about who you are.
And when you deeply understand yourself, true leadership flows. And your team – and their results – become even more stronger.
If you’ve ever hit that kind of breaking point in leadership, I’d love to hear – what helped you find your way forward? Lets Chat !
#PsychodynamicCoaching #Leadership
