It’s been years since I’ve heard Nat King Cole’s song Smile. I used to like it.
But driving with my partner this past weekend, it came on — one of the thousands of songs in his wonderfully eclectic playlist — and I was honestly creeped out.
The whole song is about suppressing what’s real.
And with what I know now about the cost of suppressing emotions — both for myself and for the leaders I work with — it just feels terribly wrong.
But isn’t that what so many leaders and professionals do every day in the office just to stay afloat?
Isn’t that what so many workplaces quietly require?
Put on the mask. Stay composed. Don’t let it show.
Of course, we need to show up professionally. But there must be room for nuance — for authenticity. Because here’s the cost when there isn’t:
- Suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they leak out in other ways.
- People can sense when you’re not being authentic.
- Leaders burn out trying to hold it all together.
So, with respect, Mr. Cole — resilience doesn’t come from smiling through the pain or faking it. It comes from allowing yourself to feel what’s real and finding your way through it.
Ask yourself: Where in my work life am I still “smiling through it”?
And isn’t it time to do better by yourself?
P.S. Fun fact: The music was composed by Charlie Chaplin for the final scene of Modern Times, and the lyrics were added later. Chaplin was a complicated man — and knowing that, the subtle dissonance in the music makes perfect sense now.
Curious to learn more about these human dynamics? Explore our Centre for Applied Psychodynamics and discover what lies beneath the surface.
If you’d like to chat or explore ideas together, Book a call with Tanna — she’d love to connect.
