Ouch… that one landed
Ever had feedback hit you harder than expected? You know it’s “constructive”, but it still stings. And then your body reacts before your brain even catches up: Your heart pounds. Your muscles tense. Your guard goes up.
You’re already planning a response before they’ve even finished what they had to say! Suddenly, you’re flooded with emotion: frustration, embarrassment, defensiveness, shame. It feels personal, even if it wasn’t meant to be.
Does that sound at all familiar? It should, because it’s human. And that reaction is actually telling you something important that you should pay attention to.
Feedback often taps into something deeper: Old patterns, fears we’ve held quietly, or stories we’ve long carried about ourselves.
So what should we do when feedback hits hard?
Ask yourself:
- What part of this feedback stirred something in me?
- Is it touching on an old story I hold about myself?
- What’s useful here, even if it’s uncomfortable?
That kind of reflection is deeper work, and it’s where real growth happens; not in pushing the feedback away, but in staying with it long enough to learn something new.
The challenge in either receiving or giving feedback is that it can uncover old narratives, unconscious biases, or ingrained defense patterns. The deeper work for most of us is to notice when those patterns are being activated, pause long enough to get curious, and choose how we want to respond, not just react.
At Percepta Leadership, we help leaders and teams work through these moments – to meet feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, and to use feedback to grow into the kind of leader they truly want to be.
If you want to understand the dynamics happening beneath the surface—or you’re simply curious about what’s really driving the leadership behaviour—let’s chat.
Book a conversation here or reach out at welcome@percpetaleadership.com
#PsychodynamicPsychotherapy #Leadership #PsychodynamicCoaching #SelfAwareness
