Start with what’s happening in the unconscious.
A recent study in the Journal of Management explored something we’ve probably all encountered at some point: Bosses who bully on purpose. These aren’t leaders who lose their temper once in a while because they’re tired or burned out.
They’re the ones who believe their outbursts get results, that yelling, shaming, or belittling ‘gets people in line. The research shows they often feel energized afterward, even more engaged.
It’s disturbing, but it makes sense when we think of what’s happening at the unconscious level.
When a leader’s sense of authority feels shaky, control can become a substitute for confidence. Anger can mask big emotions like anxiety or fear.
This doesn’t excuse the behavior, but if you’re a leader and this feels a bit too familiar, or if you’re a coach supporting a leader that wants to do better, it does help to know what might be behind it.
Here are three things to help detox:
- Get curious about what’s underneath the anger. Anger often shows up to protect something more vulnerable: fear, frustration, shame, or a sense of powerlessness.
- Notice when control becomes a coping strategy. The need to dominate or micromanage usually spikes when uncertainty is high. Try shifting from control to connection by asking questions, listening, and really being interested in your people.
- Lead from regulation, not reaction.
When leaders can hold their own anxiety instead of passing it on, they begin to co-regulate the emotional and psychological spaces at work.
What a wonderful way to create trust and safety!
If you want to understand the dynamics happening beneath the surface—or you’re simply curious about what’s really driving the leadership behaviour—let’s chat.
Book a conversation here or reach out to us at welcome@percpetaleadership.com
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